If you try hard it's worthless

Isn't it worse enough to try
not to think about you
all the time?

I can bare imagine myself
and all that stubborn mediocre life
clearly.

I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.

(Charles Bukowski)